SCREAM 7 Review: A Maximalist Nightmare

More often than not, boycotts are hard. The consumer sacrifices something, but ultimately they believe that it's worth it because a corporation has done something despicable. Twinges of sadness or loss are normal in those moments, because doing the right thing is often hard. Though, other times you have things like Scream 7, of which makes sticking with your plan to boycott after Spyglass' treatment of Melissa Barrera for standing up for the victims of the genocide in Gaza very easy. The film is, in fact, very bad.

Let's start with the good, even if said good comes with its own caveats. The kills are often impressive! However, they're all telegraphed in ways that makes them less impactful. Ghostface also wracks up an impressive body count in this chapter. The thing is, while that's a great selling point for other horror franchises, the sheer number of kills (and characters) in 7 pulls from the impact. In fact, maximalism hobbles the film in quite a few instances, including in its climax and final kill. In many ways, Scream 7 feels as if it's banging pots and pans together to try and make you forget what happened behind the scenes. If it'd been done with some finesse it would have worked on a lot of folks, too. That's how hamfisted it all feels.

A lot of the issues sit with the script penned by Kevin Williamson (based on characters by), Guy Busick, and James Vanderbilt. All three have delivered impressive work in the past, so it's hard to say if Scream 7 is an issue of too many cooks in the kitchen, not enough time, studio interference, or a combination of all three. Regardless of the cause, it's the worst in the franchise by far. I've successfully guessed the killer in past iterations, but never the second they show up on screen as was the case here. Predictability doesn't have to be a death knell if the rest of the story is strong, but it ends up being just another nail in the coffin for Scream 7.

Every new character is paper thin at best, which is actually preferred to Sidney's daughter Tatum's entire arc (if it can be called that). Isabel May does her best to bring life to the presumed new heir of the franchise, but little can be done when what's on the page is barely more than a sentient whining machine with no illustrated redeeming qualities. Scream 7 both acknowledges that Tatum has seen all of the Stab films and read her mother and Gale's books and gives the character a line of dialogue where she chastises her mother for "never preparing her." Ma'am.

While May does what she can with nothing, Joel McHale gives a career worst performance as Sid's husband Mark. Thing is, like all of the writers, we know that McHale's a pretty talented dude. It's unclear whether or not he was actively directed by Williamson to act that way or if he just really didn't get along with the team but, like the writing, the why matters less than the result.

In a film made up of unfortunate choices, perhaps the most frustrating is Scream 7's utter disdain for 5 and 6. There are several instances where the chapters are openly mocked, but the most damning evidence sits with the last remaining members of the Core 4. The Meeks twins Chad (Mason Gooding) and Mindy (Jasmin Savoy-Brown) remained after Barrera was fired and Jenna Ortega noped out of the project, but only as shells of their former selves. If anything's clear about the film, it's that Williamson, Busick and Vanderbilt had no idea how to write the twins' banter. The characters have always been comic relief, but here they're little more than the butt of the joke. It's a pity, because the thinness of the character development could have been fleshed out by actually using the players who have been built out out in former entries. Of course, if they didn't bother to do it with Gale Weathers (Courteney Cox), why would they bother to do it with the twins?

That's right! Gale has exactly one (1) moment where she is pertinent to the plot. The rest? She's just there! There's an attempt at a touching moment between her and Sidney at the end, but it's as flimsy as the rest of the film. No one, and I do mean no one is adequately used in this film and yes, that does include our queen Sidney Prescott.

The story's intent is to get back at all those pesky people who said Sidney Prescott was past her prime (she wasn't, and no one but losers on the internet ever claimed such a thing). Wait, sorry, no, the film wants you to believe that the story's about a mother who's just trying to protect her daughter! You can tell because it tells you so forty times! Then, in the end it decides it's about trying to claim that Sidney Prescott is past her prime. If this paragraph reads like nonsense to you, you can imagine what it's like to sit through Scream 7's nearly two hour runtime.

Handing this film to Williamson was Paramount/Spyglass's attempt to scream from the rooftops that Scream was returning to its roots. But having him direct with only one other credit to his name doesn't do anyone any favors, including Williamson. The aforementioned telegraphing is frustrating throughout, but ripping off The Strangers shot 6 times doesn't help either. There is one death shot in Scream 7 that is absolutely beautiful though, so credit where it's due in that regard.

Scream has always been a franchise drenched in meta with a heavy does of commentary. Both core aspects are done no justice here. Someone threw a dart at a board and decided that AI was trendy enough to cover, but 7 has absolutely nothing new or interesting to say on the subject. Meanwhile, the film thinks its condemnation of "The Rules" and other Scream trends is clever, but it falls just as flat as its character development.

Scream 7

In the end Scream 7 is a cynical, maximalist nightmare that sullies one of the most dependable horror franchises in history. Sid, Gale, The Core 4, the fans, and especially Melissa Barrera deserved better.