The NYCC Dispatch, or, The Art of Creative Fulfillment

It's been a long time since I experienced ConDrop (or the post-convention sads, for those unfamiliar with the term). Usually, I'm so exhausted by the time I get home after four days of non-stop interviewing, producing and writing that all I care about is sleep. At first, I attributed the feeling post-NYCC to the fact that it was a quick turn-around show for me. I flew into the city on a red eye on Wednesday, and left the same time on Friday. After some reflection, though, I realized it was less because I wasn't tired (because I assure you I was absolutely exhausted), but because I had felt more creatively fulfilled than I had in years.

Let me explain.

There are a lot of pitfalls to being freelance again. I grew up dirt poor, so a lack of stability isn't something that I can't really emotionally tolerate. With that being said, while I've been lucky enough to hold a staff position for the last six straight years, I've also been entirely beholden to large corporations for that time period. Now, while I have plenty of clients and partners, I am beholden to one boss: me.

There's plenty of downside to that (my new boss can be a real tyrant), but it also means that, broadly speaking, I ultimately only answer to myself. It's on me to be a good partner to outlets and clients, of course, but creatively speaking I am 100% in control of my own destiny. I'm not far enough along in this new journey to decide if that's worth the sacrifice of stability and, y'know... insurance and benefits. But, for now, it's one hell of a silver lining.

I felt ConDrop for the first time in years because for the first time in said years I met my responsibilities — of which I had creative control because I was working with partners who trust me — and then I went and did what I wanted. I didn't have to stick around to see if I needed to put out a fire, or to step in for someone else, or to write up some panel or exclusive or what-have-you. And, more importantly, I was working through partners and relationships that I forged myself. I didn't get the gig because of who I worked for. I got the gig because of me.

After knowing each other for six years, Steph (above on the left) and I didn't just get to finally meet each other in person, but got to be there for each other in a way that distance had previously stood in the way of. I got to visit her booth, and take a dorky proud friend photo of her signing a copy of her comic, Roots of Madness (of which you can and should purchase at that link).

As for how she was there for me, well, Steph has been there in a thousand different ways over the years. But, when it comes to NYCC specifically, Steph and Perri both played essential roles in my success. You see, when you're a bigger creator, Getty and convention official photographers include you in the panel photos. When you're independent, that documentation is essentially your resume, and when you're a smol independent, you don't really get included in the panel shots. If it weren't for Steph and Perri being in the crowd, there'd be almost no proof of the work that I'd done at the show and, again: resume!

If you take anything from that, let it be to not bother to keep anyone in your life who isn't a vocal, passionate supporter of you. Both of these insanely busy women took time out of their con schedules — which make them even busier than normal — to scream like crazy on my behalf and take a billion photos so I could get more work. I'm incredibly lucky and loved.

In addition to the Critical Role x Prime Video panel, I also had the opportunity to take on the Popverse studio interview for Cross. The cast and I had an absolute blast on that one, but it's not up on Popverse's YouTube just yet — stay tuned!

And, speaking of being incredibly lucky and loved, I had an unemployed predicament heading to New York: I have never once traveled to the city and not gone to a show. Theatre is a part of my DNA (how do you think I got so comfy being on stage?), but there was no sense crying over lost Broadway tickets. I had work to do! I also had friends who, without knowing my internal struggle, ensured that I didn't just see one show while in town, but two!

I ended up having last-second playdates to shows both nights I was in New York. The first of which was Kavalier & Clay at the Met, which I had never had the honor of attending in all of my times in the city. It was as stunning as we've all come to assume, of course, but that didn't hold a candle to the opera itself which, suffice to say, left me and my friend Danielle in shambles. The stagecraft of it was particularly remarkable, playing not just with a rotating stage but with a translucent curtain and projectors that created the comics as the performers did their work.

On the complete opposite side of the theatre spectrum was the deliciously bitchy Death Becomes Her. While it's far from my favorite musical lyrically speaking, it is an absolute joy to behold. The fight choreography is complete camp, while the dance choreography is utter spectacle — particularly during the chorus numbers. It's fun, it's bright, and despicably mean. My friend Paul and I laughed damn near the entire time.

New York Comic Con is, without a doubt, the most creatively fulfilled I've felt in years. I don't necessarily know what that means for my future just yet, nor do I have any other choice than to currently continue on the way that I am but, at the very least, I'm starting to feel slightly more comfortable working independently. The stress of the holidays certainly looms, especially while budgets get drier and drier but, for now, my first independent moderating gig was my biggest ever and I did it my damn self. A big part of me left the show with the evil gremlin in the back of my mind telling me I'd never have another moderating gig again despite how happy the teams were with my work, but an email I received while writing this week's newsletter wiped out that concern real quick 😉

More on that next week!

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