MOANA (2026) Review
What can I say except WHERE ARE HIS NIPPLES?!
Latest
The Vampire Lestat "Toronto" Review
As of right now, The Vampire Lestat is operating in "Vince McMahon meme" levels of upping its quality game each episode. "Detroit" was great. "Toledo" fired on all cylinders. "Toronto?" my god...
The Vampire Lestat "Detroit" & "Toledo" Review
The plan had been to review The Vampire Lestat's premiere and second episodes separately (as will be the cadence for the rest of the season), but you know what they say about life and plans and all that. Turns out I am not, in fact, capable of juggling
PASSENGER Review
Passenger plays like a Supernatural episode structured for the big screen, and I mean that as a compliment.
STAR WARS: THE MANDALORIAN & GROGU Review
Jon Favreau and Dave Filoni can and have told compelling Star Wars stories filled with poignance and wonder. This is not one of those stories.
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA 2 Review
Fashion has never been just about clothes and The Devil Wears Prada 2 is far more than a legacy sequel with nothing to say. I won't tell you I didn't go into this film expecting to enjoy it, but I most certainly didn't expect to be affected in the way that I was.
You Tilt When You Should Withdraw
"What a pair we make, huh? Both trying to hide who we are, both unable to do so. Your men love you. If I knew nothing else about you, that would be enough. But you also tilt when you should withdraw... and that is knightly, too." — Prince Edward,
The Fear of 5PM (and the Threat of the Weekend)
All that's left at 5PM is us, our thoughts, and our cursors. If you believe in the starving, depressed artists trope, you assume this is a boon. If you've been a starving, depressed (or in my case, anxious) artist, you know that's bullshit.
There Are Many Oscars Reactions, But This One Is Mine
Also featuring review highlights and updates on my assault case.
HOPPERS Review
Daniel Chong's film isn't just prescient, it's a gutting reminder of hope and togetherness.
THE BRIDE! Review
Reclamation, reinvigoration, rejuvenation… that is the song that Gyllenhaal’s The Bride sings.
SCREAM 7 Review: A Maximalist Nightmare
Scream 7 is a cynical, maximalist nightmare that sullies one of the most dependable horror franchises in history. Sid, Gale, The Core 4, the fans, and especially Melissa Barrera deserved better.
Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die (I'm Alive)
I'm not even sure where to begin.
No Resolutions, Only Resolve
Today marks six months of unemployment. Half a year without steady income; half a year on unemployment that only just covers my rent in this insanely expensive city; half a year chasing old contacts and discovering most of them, like myself, no longer have jobs; half a year scraping together